How Should I Deal With My Parents Over The Stupid Fight We Just Had?
my parents asked me to eat with them outside on the patio. I said i wasnt hungry because i didnt feel like eating with them especially outside i hate how bugs are everywhere and stuff is falling out of the trees over our patio. They say i have to come out and talk anyway so i do but i’m in a pretty pissy mood. Then when we are done I go to start cleaning up and apparently we have to sit and talk for twenty minutes so i’m in even worse mood because I didn’t want to stay out there anyways. My parents are both therapists so they start, “Its just crazy to not want to have dinner with your parents because we havent had dinner together for a week!” and all about how I have such a distorted reality and should WANT to have dinner with them and talk on a Friday night. Now they are pretty pissed at me and im in the basement avoiding. What should I do? How can I get my parents to understand I don’t want to spend time with them sitting around talking when im not in a mood to talk at all?
-dj, 17
most fights we have with family are stupid. each of us want the other to understand what we are feeling – working both ways, your parents want you to feel what they are feeling, as you want them to feel what you are feeling. this is all well and good when we are children, but as we start to become a little older, we are entitled to feel and do what we want, within reason, without being told we are wrong. just tell your parents that you love them, appreciate all they do for you, but, you are growing up with your own thoughts in life, and one of these thoughts is that YOU do not like to eat outside, tell them why this is, and ask them to respect your thoughts. it’s not that you don’t want to have dinner with them, it just not the way you like to have dinner. you are not asking them to change their evening, they should enjoy it, but to realize, when you are not feeling comfortable with the surroundings, you would rather not be part of it. it’s not crazy, when you uncomfortable and it’s not your fault that you haven’t had dinner together for a week and you don’t understand why they think you have distorted reality. you would enjoy having dinner with them just NOT outside. it is nice that they want to know what is going on in your life, but, that you are growing up and sometimes you are just not in the mood to talk and you hope that they would respect how you feel.
I kinda had something similar to this happen to me. There’s really no other way to deal with this other than just telling them the truth. Say it in a polite manner, don’t get all hostile, and hopefully they’ll understand.
you do have serious problems
why not talk to you family
Later on when you feel better or maybe tomorrow explain to them how you feel sitting out on the patio and that you just didnt want to talk to them. Also dont feel bad because there both therapists and they are telling you that. They probably just wanted to make you feel bad so you would sit with them. Talking with them and explaining how you felt will show them your more if an adult. They probably see you as younger than what you are. I remember not ever wanting to be around my parents so your I think your normal.
do you know how many kids would love to be in your shoes right now, by spending time with their parents who have never spent time with them, never been given a hug, never been told I love you, never been told your a special person. Instead of being so pissy for being such a fortunate person with parents who love them and want to spend time with you, and find out how your week has been. Spend some time, you should go apologize, and explain to them that you were not in the mood, but that you do appreciate them wanting to spend time together as a family….because so many kids and young adults don’t have what you have. You are blessed, with having 2 parents who care and love you…even if you are pissy.
Just exactly what you said, tell them. At 17, you’re parents can be your best friend or your worst enemy. If you’re not in the mood to hang out, just tell them. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t eat a meal with them or spend some time with them.
Have a look at your intentions. Are you really intending to get away from jo parents. If not then you know the truth