My Woman Getting Pregnant, It Bugs Me From Time To Time?
ByI’m 23, living with my fiance that is 22. There is something that has been bugging me a little bit ever since I got into this relationship. I have been concerned about pregnancy for a while (about 9 months) and to me, it seems like it’s a ticking time bomb. She is on birth control, but I know sooner or later, she’ll have to go off the shot and use the pill, meaning that the chances of her getting pregnant will increase and it could happen anytime.
So what is it that I’m a bit worried about? Well, two things. First off, I do not know if we can take care of a child with the amount of money we make if we were to have one. We dont have good or stable paying jobs, and probably will not until we finish college (which may not be for a while, and I mean a few years.)
Second is child support. Me and my fiance (supposed to be getting married in about a year), have a strong relationship. But, there is an old saying called “never say never”, which means if we ever did get a divorce/break up, possibilities could be that I may end up paying child support for the next 18 years, and I’m miserable.
I know some of you may say “dont have sex”, but in my opinion, a relationship without sex could kill the relationship, since I think sex plays 50% of the relationship, and emotion is the other 50%. Of course, I dont NEED to have sex, it’s just that it may ruin the relationship if it’s put aside.
At this point, I’m not sure what to do. It just feels like there is a time bomb ticking and it could explode anytime, and other than that, it feels like either way, it’s going to happen. Even if we do get good paying jobs and get married, there’s still the child support & divorce thing that bugs me a little.
Thank you.
6 Comments
November 10th, 2009 at 10:40 am
I can pull a condom over my head…so don’t tell me you’re “constricted” with using them…imagine how “constricted” you’ll be with a child or two to raise…get MAGNUMS if you’re large and in charge….okay
now to your other points….no wait…back to the birth control issue…why should birth control ONLY be her responsibility when it is you with all this baby anxiety??? Condoms do work, the point is to keep all that baby batter in them…so yeah they can be constricting…again get MAGNUMS if you’re large and in charge…okay back to my other points, no matter how much you think about when the “perfect time” is to have a child there will always be some issue that doesn’t make the idea so ideal…whether it’s schooling, employment, home, savings etc, there is never a “100% perfect time” to have a child, I mean what if there was? and then you lost you’re job? you gonna put the baby back in? it’s called LIFE and you deal with whatever happens and make changes where necessary….okay on your other point…regarding child support….I’m gonna make it very very simple for you…lets say you split up and a judge says “daddy…you have to pay $500 per month child support plus provide medical insurance” let’s say medical comes out to about $300 per month…that’s $800…do you honestly think that is more…or….less than what you would be shelling out on a monthly basis if you didn’t split up???? I can guarantee you if there is never a divorce, you will pay probably double if not triple that amount per month to house, clothe, feed, entertain and ensure the health of that child. So…child support and if you’ll ever get “stuck” paying for it really is a moot point! either way you would be “stuck” paying for 18 plus years anyway…
sorry if I’m coming off as glib…but…nothing aggravates me more than a man or woman that makes excuses about paying child support, when the reality is if they lived with the child full time they would be shelling out a whole lot more money…just man or woman up and pay your support!
I can understand being pragmatic..but you’re not even married or a father yet and you’re already running through the scenerios and doing the math if you split up with kids…maybe you are NOT quite ready to get married yet? I would never recommend getting married to anyone when they are considering divorce already…yeah it’s something that does happen…a lot…but if you go at this marriage preparing it to fail..it most likely WILL!
November 10th, 2009 at 11:21 am
see a therapist
November 10th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Keep your pants on
November 10th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
wow buddy ur wrong about the u need sex
you dont need sex to express love thats 1
2 just use condoms haha
3 seek a therapist is condition persues=]
November 11th, 2009 at 2:56 am
The Pill
The Shot…
CONDOMS……….
you sound VERY RATIONAL…… GOOD FOR YOU!
I have been living with my gf for 21 yrs, & we have 5 great kids…..
we are in no hurry to get married…..
When Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russel get married, that is when we’ll get married. we always say……..
may never happen…….
but neither of us is going to leave the other,
November 11th, 2009 at 6:16 am
Really, the only real way you are for certain that she will not get knocked up is for you to use condoms. It is wise of you to not trust a girl with such a powerful outcome. Condoms constrict you? Hmmm, not a really good excuse. Try different kinds of condoms, different brands, different sizes. I would take using a condom and having less anxiety then taking the risk of getting pregnant. It’s up to you.